why why why why why????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
right now, i feel so low, dirty, disrespectful, unclean, and I have never resented something so much in my whole entire life before. It hurts so much. So deep. That definitely tore my heart, my soul and my whole being apart. I never knew Loving someone so much and giving it your all can hurt so so so much. Its like i died, but im still here.... wishing i really just died so that I wouldnt have to hurt so so so much. Is this my karma? I am so lost, confused and full of hate on myself. I cant believe what had just happened. Those words still sting me so much..... WHY???????????? I am so stupid. Im so stupid. Im so stupid. TAnga!!!! putang ina! nakakaloko! sobrang sakit..... I wish I could cry, i wish I could pour out all my frustrations and thoughts, but NO.... I cant ..... I cant face anyone anymore... I cant face him... I am so disgusted with myself. sana talaga mamatay na ako.......marami akong nadaanan, na lagpasan, at nakayanan.... pero putang ina!!!!!!!!!!!! bakit ganito? WHy do i love so much but i cant let go.....

i wish the world would swallow me up whole.... I hate hurting him, and yet I do....No matter how much I try to avoid it, hurting just happens... I just always always ruin it. And it SUCKS!!

Im scared... so scared of losing the only one who i ever loved like this... So scared that its just around the corner. I cant imagine ever losing the only one who made me feel so complete, so loved, and someone so true, someone who inspired me so much, someone who has been and who always will be the keeper of my heart.... It would hurt like HELL. I dont think I could ever bear it. :...(