Thursday, November 30, 2006

High Maintenance Relationships

I came across Jayme's site (which i barely do, but today, i just had this instict to read her blog) Anyways, here's what i read that hit me straight to my heart.

And I quote:
"Not because of me. Not because of him. More of because of us. How we deal with each other. How we manage our own expectations. Letting go is oh so hard and yet oh so sweet. I just have to stop being a frightened dog to become one uptight control freak.

Things on my mind after our SMARTS class. Our prof discussed the tao of relationships. She had this very arresting slide with a single phrase -- High Maintenance Relationships.

Then she went and asked: Anyone in a high maintenance relationship? The slides progressed to reveal the symptoms of this so called high maintenance relationships. I found myself agreeing to some points. Just when you thought it would be an endless list, the last slide popped up. It outlined very clearly what's up with high maintenance relationships. It's not about you or me. It's about our relationship. It's not about the other person changing. It is about you changing, adjusting to the other person. Mutual change?

I found myself nodding in agreement. Like it or not, relationships are give and take. It's not about one single person fixing what needs to be fixed but rather both parties do the fixing together. Else how can one fix his or her own roof and then proceed to the "our" roof?

I breathed. I let go. And I'm happier for it. I think he is too. He let go of some things and breathed. We're both happier for it. These days I'm just really really happy to be with him. It seems as if we understand each other in some ways as well as discovering that each is still a mystery. A healthy balance, I'd say."


Is this whats happening with Allan and I? Do we have a high maintenance relationship? I mean, i haven't seen the slide or heard of this type of relationship before, but, i have a funny feeling this type of relationship describes us well.

I wish there's a way for me to read more about this High Maintenance Relationship thing. Maybe it would put us into better perspective.
I guess i just want understand this relationship i have. I believe its worth saving.

No comments: